Day 15 - Acceptance Again, Really? - July 30n

We are back to turning it over. I'm listening to Leonard Cohen's "If It Be Your Will." On my iPod, hoping to return to that place of complete surrender. My knee started hurting today. It has been pain free for months. And, I haven't even started walking. I have tears in my eyes listening to this song once again and remembering that long journey to acceptance and surrender. I am the bamboo, he is the Monk. The tears aren't frustration this time. In fact I'm not sure what they are about, probably lots of things. It is always difficult to be faced with my spiritual imperfection, but I know with more certainty each time I pass through this particular intersection. There has been progress. After a short, oh damn, I am not pouting, stamping my feet and throwing a temper tantrum like I did last year.  Thank you God via Leonard.

If it were not for the Grace of a very loving God, I am sure I would have never heard of the Camino. The people I hung with and the places I was, this would have been very unlikely. It would be much more likely that I would be dead by now. So, the fact that I know there is such a thing as a spiritual pilgrimage, that I wanted to do it, that I got to do it, it more than a wretch like me deserves. So, I am going to try to stay in the space I got to last year. I will go to Saint Jean Pied de Port, I will get up on the morning of the 4th of August, put on my little boots and my backpack, and I will take a step out the door and whether I get to make a lot more, or only the one, is not up to me. I can harly complain about anything. I have been blessed beyond belief.

Besides, I'm in Spain. I love Spain! All of it, and there is a lot of it that doesn't require hiking. I am certain I will make new friends, have new adventures and enjoy myself no matter what, because that is what my life has become on a daily basis. Even if I went home, I would be returning to a place I love and people I adore. Does it get much better than that?

Now that we've gone through that spiritual and emotional loop de loop, let me tell you about my day. Well, I worked from 9am until 2pm. It was really slow until about 1pm, but it gave me some more time to talk with my new friends. When I come in in the morning, or they come in after me, they say, "Hola, Nancy. ¿Qué tal?" And smile. Today Lupe showed me the doll  she is getting for each of the young girls who are coming to her daughter's first communion party. It is really cute in pink and purple. I'll post a picture with this. Then Pilar was asking where I live in California. She said she has a friend in San Diego. I told here my daughters and my grandchildren live in San Diego, next thing she and Tania are asking if I have pictures.  So I showed them pictures of my daughters and my grandkids. They took one look at Gia and guessed that she was trouble. lol that really isn't hard to see. They decided all of them were good looking. They also said that mom and grand mom was good looking too. I swear I blushed. 

After work I was having Pimientos de Padron (they are addicting) and Edwardo walked behind me. He could have kept going but he stopped to say "aprovecha" which translates roughly to "enjoy your meal." Then Caesar was coming out of the Pilgrim's office as I was walking by and he got a big smile on his face and said "Nancy, ?¿que tal? I asked him if he had a good birthday ( it was two days ago) he said he did. I asked how old he was and he said thirty. I laughed and said "oh, no, un hombre viejo." He laughed and said, "No, no." These are little things, but they mean a lot to me.

I pretty much spent the rest of the day sorting the things that would get sent to Bercianos, go in my backpack or stay here in my suitcase until I return at the end of September, or whenever. I took the stuff going to Bercianos to the Correos off and sent it off. Now I'm still pulling stuff out of the back pack and putting it into the suitcase. I'm trying to not carry stuff I don't really need. You would be surprised how little that is. I am still going back and forth on the camera. I did fine with the iPhone last year. There were just some shots Where I wished I had had more zoom capabilities. I've seen lots of people come in with cameras from all different countries and I've asked them if they carried them the whole way. They all said they did, like it was no big deal.

I forgot to mention that I took the bears to town with me and before the morning mass the bears, Mr Burple and Mr Berry, who are doing the Camino with me, and I went and hugged the Apostle for ourselves and for Daniel, Frances and Brunswick, our friends.

Lupe and the doll

This morning's view of the Cathedral on my way to work

Day 14 - Sadness - July 29

Day 14 - Sadness - July 29

I am knackered. Totally spent. Dead tired. I've been going to bed as the Spanish do, very late night or early morning and waking up, unable to go back to sleep, on my US schedule. So I've been getting very little sleep. And I have been working on my feet which I haven't done since my waitress days some 40 years ago. Our busiest day since I've been here was Saturday when we issued 1980 Compostelas. The line was down the stairs, out the patio door and down the block all day. In addition to those 1980, there are those who also come in to buy Credentials, those who want to buy religious momentos of the Camino, people who have questions, and those who come to see if we have their lost items. It also doesn't count  the ones who don't get a credential because they didn't walk the last 100 km and those who get a certificate instead of a credential. Those take even longer and take up more of the office workers because often there is an explanation and then a long argument. So that was a long day.

But now I realize it is soon coming to an end. I have two more days of being an Amigo and working in the Pilgrim's office. I have made some good friends and memories here. I think I'd be even sadder, if I wasn't coming back to Santiago at the end of September on my way to Finisterre. But I won't be an Amigo then. Little tears in my eyeballs. I've been to two masses in the last 24 hours and the Cathedral doesn't seem any the worse for wear.

I went to mass last night because Johnnie Walker was playing the organ and Stephen was singing. It was just delightful. The mass was in Spanish, but I was surprised and pleased to realize that I understood most of the homily. It was about prayer and God's will, not mine. Oh, why does that sound so familiar?

 After mass our whole work detail went out to dinner and talked for the longest time. We shared Camino experiences and spiritual experiences. There was a little bawdy talk and I seem to remember women's underwear being discussed. There was laughter and a few tears. The things we get to experience as Amigos is phenomenal. At dinner Stephen sang Amazing Grace for me. I was so choked up I couldn't remember the words. I must have 14 versions of it on my phone and iPod and I know I heard it more than a thousand times. It and the Ave Maria are two of my favorites. Stephen couldn't remember all the words either so he and Father Al worked it out and Stephen sang it with us all joining in with the chorus of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah. I was in heaven.

On the way home Mario who is from Italy ask if I would like some note cards that had been made up sketches he had done in different parts of the world. Would I? Another teary moment. How does a woman like me who came from where I came from end up here? Well, by the Grace of a very loving God, of course. Today Stephen sent a copy of the Poem about "When I am an old woman I shall wear purple." We'll I am and I do, even in my hair. And today somebody shared an article about the top five regrets dying people have, and the top number one was, "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me." I've been working on this for years. People have been so kind to me here.

On the way home I found out that what I thought was a Cafe/Bar next door to me is actually a brothel. go figure. When my youngest daughter Leea and I are traveling together we always seem to end up staying in the red light district, except in Fuengirola, where we ended up with cock roaches the size of a small dog. Having some very different ideas about prostitution, I once worked for the de criminalization of said enterprise, I'm not bothered a bit by any of this, except the cockroaches. You cannot even imagine how startling it is to be awaken by something moving your hair, realizing your husband is not with you on this trip But something is clearly moving your, and reaching up to feel a cockroach big enough to make a sandwich with. Yuck!

So I got home from dinner about midnight, got to bed about one, woke up at six, and I won't say I was wide awake, but I couldn't get back to sleep. So up I got, showered and got ready to go. I was planning to go to the 10:30 am mass anyway because Father Al was doing it in English, and he was going to do a Pilgrim's Blessing in English too. I figure one can never have too many blessings. After mass my work partner, Anne and I went to see the inside of the Parador that we walk by every day on our way home. Parador's are usually old Castles or historic buildings renovated by the Spanish government and turn into high end hotels. I'm planning on staying in one in Leon. This one had four cloisters, so I am assuming it was a convent at one point. It was very nice. We sat and drank café con leche and oj, and discussed books about Spain and the brothel next door. Anne is Irish and talks a mile a minute without end. she is just delightful and a really warm and caring person. she has done the Camino several times and is walking to Finisterre when we are done. We had some chuckles and then I went off to take pictures and Anne went off to do errands. While I was taking pictures I popped into the Cathedral to seem If I could get a look at the Portico. I couldn't but it was the end of the mass and the started swinging the botafumeiro, a big silver thing that they fill with burning incense and swing from on end on the transept to the other until it almost reaches the ceiling on either end. It is carried and swung by eight men and hangs on a pulley mechanism. It is quite a sight to see. I saw it last year at the Pilgrim's Mass after I finished the Camino.

I was very tired, but in a good mood today at work. I am now greeted warmly and treated kindly by the staff. It took them a while to talk to me. They see a new group of us every two weeks. But I am persistent.

The Requiem Mass for the train wreck victims was tonight a 7pm. The Prince and Princess of Asturias were to attend. When I passed on my way home after work they were tolling the bells. Tolling is different in my mind to ringing. Tolling is a dull sound, steady and monotonous. There were hundreds of people in the courtyard of the Cathedral, so I assume the Cathedral was full or it was by invitation only. There were lots of policemen and television crews. I hear it was broadcast by Spanish TV. I didn't want to go to the Requiem Mass, so I wasn't offended that I wasn't invited. :)

Day 13 - Spanishness - July 28

Day 13 - Spanishness - July 28

I just love that there is a little market two doors down where I can buy most staples like cheese, cornflakes, tuna, milk oj, butter, etc. there is also a Pandaría about six doors up the street where I can buy bread, pastries, potato chips and other miscellaneous items. At the corner there is a lively cozy coffee shop with wifi. There is also a bar/cafe next door, but no wifi. Kitty corner from the coffee shop is a farmacía and half a short block down is a larger market. This isn't unusual in Spain. It is how neighborhoods are arranged. The smaller markets and stores are just garages or living rooms converted to a store. People live and shop in their neighborhoods. The family I lived with in Salamanca didn't have a car.

Things are changing, of course. Spain now has large super market chains and in the medium to large cities these are comparable to our smaller super markets.. They also have some large multi purpose stores that similar to Wal Mart, but a little smaller. There is also a chain called Cortes Ingles. There stores are like a JC Penneys with a grocery store, sporting goods store, stationary store, drug store, grocery store, and a few other things combined. The ones I have been in are all five stories. I think mostly they are purpose built and designed to be five stories with the grocery store on the bottom floor. They are kind of like a vertical Target store.

When I went to Salamanca our instructor warned us that is was considered bad manners in Spain to eat or drink while walking on the street. I had never noticed before but if Spanish people have something to drink like coffee, tea, coke, etc they do it at home or in a bar/cafe. Same with ice cream, chips, etc. when I first came to Spain you couldn't get anything to eat or drink take out (para llevar) that is all changing somewhat in the tourist areas, but in the regular neighborhoods it is still very much the same. The Spanish will have picnics. They will sit down some where out side and eat.

The mom of the family I lived with, I call her my Spanish Mom. She was one of the warmest and most caring woman I have ever known. She extended courtesies to me that we're amazing. When I would go on a week end trip she would make home made donuts for me. She told me it was also bad manners to eat with your hands in public, but it is ok at home with family. I never order chicken in a Spanish restaurant, because if it comes with the bones, I have never been able to eat it successfully with a knife and fork.

With the influx of American chains like KFC and McDonalds you will see young people sitting in plazas with their bag of fast food having a picnic. It was a common sight in Salamanca, but they were sitting.

While living in Salamanca I noticed that in passing people would not make eye contact, let alone smile when passing is, unless they know you. Often they would intentionally avert their eyes. Where I live, if you are out walking and you pass someone, whether you know them or not, you usually smile and say "hi" or nod your head. When they see friends on the street they say "hola" or "buenos días" and more often than not exchange kisses (besas.) they are very warm and loving with friends and family, but very much reserved or closed with people they don't know well.

It is different in some ways because they know I am a peregrina, and seem more open and friendly in a "buen camino" kind of way. People are just a little more open and friendly.

I may have never noticed these little things before because I was always in the tourist part of town, like in Southern Spain, on the Costa del Sol, which is largely occupied my the Dutch, British, French etc. though if you see the Spanish that live there they still stroll along the boardwalk in dress shoes, skirts (and I presume slips) blouses and nylons. Even on the Camino when stayed in the larger to towns and cities, I was in the tourist area, in Pamplona, Burgos, Leon, etc. I am realign that very few of my travels have included areas not in the tourist areas. I guess that is normal. The exceptions are when I was in Salamanca, last year when my daughter and I stayed with a family in Morrocco, and to some extent this time in Santiago, though where I am staying is still on the larger tourist map.

Just a few thoughts because it rained all night and all day, so I didn't get out much until now, that it has stopped raining it is time to go to work. I think it should only rain at night when I'm sleeping.

Day 12 - Survival And Joy - July 27

 Day 12 - Survival, Rowdiness and Silliness - July 27

I do not want to give the impression that people in Santiago are walking around mournfully and crying continuously. I think Spanish history or the history of the Iberian peninsula is a story of many tragedies, turmoil, death and destruction which I believed has created a culture that copes. I'm sure those affected directly and personally are grieving, but the general population view it has a tragic accident and continue with their lives. I don't think from what I have witnessed that they do as much handwringing as we do. In the streets people are strolling, shopping in the markets, going to the farmacía, eating in cafés, etc. I have not heard the train wreck mentioned even once by the Spanish employees, the Spanish Pilgrims or anyone else in the office.

Today in the Pilgrim's office we were as busy as we have been since I got here. There were a lot of huge youth groups that came through. They were singing, laughing, joking, pushing each other around and engaging in general rowdiness, as young people in groups are apt to do. It was noisy and delightful. The adult Spanish pilgrims I interacted with seemed to generally be in good spirits. Tired and very grateful for even the smallest act of kindness, just a smile pleased them.

On my first break today around 3:30 pm I went for a yogurt and got the special flavor again, which is some sort of tart. The price is so many euros depending on the size and that includes one or two toppings, depending on the size. So since I was paying for the toppings whether I took them or not, and for no other reason, I got some little cookies as my toppings. They were whole little round chocolate chip cookies about an inch or inch and a half in diameter. Not the crushed up kind we have in the US yogurt shops. I took the whole thing to the park to sit on a bench in the sun and savor it. It rained on and off, mostly on, all day. So this little spot of sunshine was quite a treat.

So I'm sitting on my part of the bench and I look across the little circle of benches and there are two obviously drunk, obviously homeless people, a man and a woman. There was also a third person, a man, who looked neither homeless nor drunk. The two drunks were drinking something that looked like beer out of paper bags and smoking. Then the woman starts giving the sober man a lap dance right there in the park, in front of Spanish grandmothers, grandfathers, children, and a whole host of other people. She's sitting on his lap facing him and he's pulling her towards him and rubbing her buttocks. I swear I wasn't that shocked at the burlesque show my daughter and I attended in Paris.

The two men sitting on the bench across from me were staring like they didn't believe it either. The kids continued to play looking up occasionally when one of the three made a loud noise. I kept expecting someone to say something or call the Police, but I learned a while ago, when I was living with a Spanish family in Salamanca, that people don't say anything or call the police. The family lived facing a small park that was surrounded by apartments and where the local young people like to drink until 5 or 6 am. I always expected to hear some one open a window a shout at them in Spanish to be quiet or they would call the police. Not once did I hear that.

I finally had to go sit on another bench with my back to them. It was too distracting. And it was a vision of the past that I don't want to forget, but I don't need to see it in living color to remember. I was even known to drink champagne out of a paper bag. lol which reminds me of one of my favorite jokes from those days. Some wine aficionados were sitting around discussing whether one should hold the glass by the stem or the bowl. The last one, a person obviously fond of wine said, "Heck, I hold it by the neck so it doesn't slip out of the paper bag." And that was exactly how the drunks in the park were holding theirs. So I guess it works for beer too. :)

Speaking of people behaving in poor taste, I was sitting in the corner coffee shop having a café con leche and croissant this morning, when this English/British (is there a difference? I've never thought about it before) woman walks in and is waiting to order something and she starts up a conversation with the person standing next to her, a stranger, and suddenly in a very loud voice in a small and quiet cafe she starts throwing in the "f" word and just about every expletive I've ever heard. It was startling even for me, who is known to use expletives on occasion, when necessary. But the time and place and volume were totally inappropriate. The owner eventually suggested nicely that perhaps she would like to sit at one of the outside tables and he would bring her order to her. So funny.

The children today were adorable. I just love the little Pilgrims. They are always so visibly excited and happy to get there Certificates or Compostelas. I had another seven hour day and I ran my behind off. Mario spelled me about 7:15 and I went and had a café con leche and some dark chocolate, in a little place near the office that has wifi, to give me energy to go until 9 pm. I was energetic to the end. Now I'm dead tired. So it is off to bed I go, until tomorrow, or hasta mañana.

Day 11 Giving and Getting July 26

Day 11 Giving and Getting July 26

Another crazy busy day and this tattoo thing is getting out of control. I would guess at least a hundred people have ask to take a picture of it. Then this evening I was at the RENFE train office to see if the tragic accident had affected my plans. I don't know why I feel bad or weird about checking on my plans when so many are grieving, but I do. I think I care less and less about whether my feeling are god or bad, right or wrong, appropriate or not, I just try to let them be whatever they are at the moment, knowing that they are very fickle and it I just wait a short time they will change. But I digress. There are no changes to that train schedule for my train to Pamplona. The train accident apparently occurred about two and a half miles from the station, so I shouldn't see any wreckage there, But, my train goes to Ourense, where I change trains, to go to Pamplona and I think Ourense was the last stop that train made before coming to Santiago. In fact I think I remember it being the last stop before I arrived in Santiago on the fifteenth. So I may have to see it, unless I shut my eyes.

While I was at the RENFE office a woman and a man that I had seen and helped in the Pilgrim's Office started to chat with me. Then they ask if they could take a picture of my tattoo, then they starting filming me and ask what I was doing in Santiago, where I was from what was my name etc. Then he asked if I would mind if he used the footage in a documentary. I said I wouldn't mind.

So I leave the RENFE office, go to get a yogurt and I run into someone else I met in the Pilgrim's office who had commented on how he loved my tattoo. Well he tells me that a short time later he open up Facebook and a picture of my tattoo popped up. Whoooa! This fellow is not from the states so I don't think we have any friends in common. It is getting might strange. He said the Facebook thing said it was a lady with purple hair.

By the way the yogurt was delicious. It's a brand called SMÖOY and it tastes like frozen Greek yogurt. I had some in Boulder once and wanted to buy a franchise so I could have it in Southern California. The last two times I have had their special flavor of the week which was some sort of yummy tart flavor. Tonight I had the chocolate with strawberries. Both favors are delicious. 

For dinner I had an ensalada mixta. I went to the market and got some lettuce, a heirloom tomato and a can of corn. There was tuna, cheese, olive oil and balsamic vinegar at home so I was set. I also bought some fresh bread to go with it. I just love shopping as I walk home from work.

Tomorrow morning I'm going to walk up to the University Hospital ( by the way here USC stands for University of Santiago Compostela and they don't have those ugly school colors lol) to give blood. Apparently they were deluged with people wanting to give blood once they put out the call, so they had to start turning people away. Johnnie told me they turned a friend of his away. I told him they may still want mine, I'm A-  They almost always want mine because it is rare and hard to get. This is good if I am giving blood, but not so good if I need blood. Oh we'll, so I give in hopes there will be some if I need it, giving and getting. Johnnie called the hospital and sure enough they said for me to come in the morning. He said something about a transfusion, I certainly hope he just meant taking blood in a bottle. We'll see. They always have a bunch of requirements to give blood, so you never know if you will actually be able to do it. Some years ago when we went to give blood Sheila wasn't allowed to give blood because she didn't weigh enough. lol I don't think I will have that problem.

In the office today one woman was crying and she just looked like she needed a hug, so I gave her one and she hugged tight. It was a splendid moment. At another time a little boy was so excited, I'd say he was about seven years old he was jumping up and down. And at another time a young girl, about five years old, was so happy she was twirling in circles. Yesterday there was a man with a very exhausted two year hold sleeping on his should while he was getting his Compostela. I asked him if the little boy had been with him on the Camino and he said that he had. Amazing. Why do babies always look so adorable when they are sleeping and just waking up?

While I was working today I would tell people to go the the man at the end, because he was at the end of the long row of desks. I was saying "el hombre al fondo" which can mean at the end or the bottom. A couple of the girls that work there were laughing good naturedly, so I asked them if I was pronouncing it wrong. They said no, but the way. I said it sounded like they were going to seen a scary man way far down. So, I didn't say anything but I started saying "el hombre amable al fondo" which means the friendly man at the end" they caught it and smiled at me. I think tomorrow I will change it to "el hombre amable al final" which clearly means the the friendly man at the end. 

The other day one of the women said to send the good looking men to her counter but  i said "no hay ninguna aquí ahora" meaning there aren't any here now. So at one point today I said "Hay muchas hombres guapos aquí hoy," which means there are many handsome men here today. They laughed and said to send them to their counter.

It's nice to speak enough broken Spanish to have a little fun.

Well I am going down to the corner cafe to have some tea and use their wifi to transmit this. Then I'm going to bed. Wifi wasn't working last night so this didn't go out. Woke up in the middle of the night and remembered something about not being able to give blood and getting tattoos. So I woke up and investigated on the net. In California and most states in the US you can't give blood for one year after getting a tattoo. It's much the same in Spain. So, I can't give blood. And my phone has run out of data. So while I will still be posting blogs once a day, I won't be posting responses to comments or emails as frequently. It will be much the same when I am actually on the Camino and usually only pull my phone out once a day to write. And GO DODGERS!!! 

Two children receiving Compostelas

Woman in strange outfit with coke can hat and junk food wrapper dress. Amusing and poignant. You wear what you eat, I suppose.

Day 10 Feast Day of Santiago July 25

Day 10 Feast Day of Santiago July 25

It was a different kind of Santiago Feast Day. All festivities for the week have been cancelled. There are black ribbons everywhere. All the flags are at half mast. The street musicians are silent. And the mood is subdued. Below is a picture of the signs hung in the Pilgrim's office today.

I am still processing. Of course prayers and thoughts for the dead and their families. But, what I keeps coming back to my mind are the survivors. I cannot imagine experiencing all of what must have been scary moments before the crash when the train was moving at an excessive speed, the terrifying noise of wrenching metal scraping on the wall and against the tracks and itself as it twisted, being thrown about the inside of a metal tube, witnessing the corpses and bleeding injured, then realizing the train was on fire and trying to claw your way out. Damn!

Then I realize I am experiencing the guilt, relief and the why's and what if's that are usually never revealed, because I was on that same train just nine days before. I cannot fathom how you deal with those thoughts and emotions when you were there and experienced it and survived, when about one third of the passengers did not. I'm attempting to let all that just be with me and not try to deny or ignore it.

There was no vigil or anything different in the plaza in front of the Cathedral this afternoon. It just looked like it did every other time I walked to or from work. I think there was some sort of place inside the Cathedral for paying respects or saying prayers because there was a line out one of the side doors and down the steps into the Plaza (Praza Das Platerías) when I went to work and when I came home.

I only worked six hours today. It was not as busy as yesterday. But I've pretty much worked out a rhythm of getting people in and out efficiently. I learned new little tricks every day. They have a sign at the top of the stairs that says, in several languages, please wait here for your turn. But the Pilgrims are excited, tired, spaced out, looking all around and don't see the sign right beside the roped of place for the line. So several times an hour I am showing people where to go for the person who will write their Compostelas, as soon as I am around the corner the whole line starts to follow me. Then I have to try to ask them to move back using sign and body language, Spanish and English. Moving the line back after it has momentum is difficult to say the least. First of all the line is coming up the stairs so it is necessary first to get the people coming up the stairs to stop so I don't need to move them down the stairs backwards which might cause injuries. Meanwhile the people backing up on the landing are occasionally stepping on one another moving backwards. And even though I saying "atras" which means back and would be very hard to mispronounce, people look at me like they don't understand, so I say "Habla inglés" and the say "no, Español" and I think my Spanish must be horrific if they can't even understand me when I'm saying something simple and hard to mispronounce. But usually after this little exchange, I say atras again and they say something like "oh, perdon." What I tried today was to move the sign a few inches so it cut off the area to pass through to one person. It worked. People noticed the sign more, we only had one or two "atras" moments and it all went much more smoothly. 

Then, in order not to seem rude or demanding, after I get the line back and the next person in to get their Compostelas I go back and explain in Spanish and English to all the affected people that we only have a small space inside so they can't all go in at once and people after to enter and leave through the same door so we need a small area clear for all that to happen. Almost everyone is as nice as can be and say I don't need to apologize, they understand. But one woman today, who wasn't even in the line, she was just resting waiting for some kids, told me off in Spanish. I tried my best to explain the problem, but she wouldn't hear any of it or let me finish a sentence. It's the first time I've been told off in Spanish, at least the first time I've realized I've been told off. Sometimes there is an advantage to not understanding a language. But in this instance by the tone of her voice and the look in her eyes there was no way to mistake the message. So I used my short form of the compassion exercise in my mind, did an Asian bow with my hands clasped and backed away. She glared at me for the next fifteen minutes and at the end of the fifteen minutes and by the end of that time I had eased toward compassion.

So, I've been told off in yet another language. From my experience the sound and the look are the same no matter the idiom. :) I can't even imagine how that all would have gone even ten years ago. Well, come to think of it, I can, and it would not have been pretty, though she might have understood the expletives, she certainly would have understood the tone and decibel level.

I think my tattoo may become famous. I have about ten people a day asking to take pictures of it. Yesterday a French film crew was in the office and the film guy took about ten minutes of it and me. So I'm having my fifteen minutes of fame. Maybe it could be a novel, "The Girl With The Camino Tattoo" or maybe "The Old Woman With The Camino Tattoo" hehe

I am learning to say so many things in Spanish and it is like an interlocking puzzle. Once I figure out one things I can just change a word here and there and say something else. And I've lost most of my fear of trying to say things for fear of embarrassment.

Well that's all for now. Beam me up Scottie.

 

Day 9 Train Wreck July 24

Day 9 - Train Wreck July 24

There was a tragic train wreck in Santiago tonight. I didn't hear about it until I got home from work and sat down to eat my supper around 10 pm. The death count is still rising, and many people have been taken to the hospital, critically injured. My heart goes out to the dead and wounded and their families. this is a great time of sorrow for those who have lost loved ones a time of sorrow and pain and heal for those who are wounded and their families, and a time of mixed emotions for those who survived or were uninsured. I will be keeping them all in my thoughts and prayers as I go through my days an as I walk the Camino. My heart is heavier than it was, but of one thing I am certain there will be joy again. Joy and sorrow appear to be related and sometimes even keep company with one another in side of me.

The nights festivities for Santiago's feast day have been canceled. Tonight's activities are the crown jewel of the secular festivities with a digital projection on the Cathedral, which in past year couple of years have been amazing, a symbolic burning of the Cathedral and a big fireworks show. I am sure the Mass major Mass in the morning will have the tragedy in it's message and prayers for the people involved.

I worked nine hours today. The office was jammed all day with a line down the stairs out of the patio and down the street from 9 this morning until 9  tonight. I worked from 9 until 2 and then back from 5 until 9. So, needless to say I was knackered by the time I started home. I thought, it's only 9, the big show doesn't start until 11:30, I' just take my usual way home across the main plaza in front of the Cathedral. Then I noticed it had started to sprinkle. I thought that is not a good omen. At the time I was just thinking about fireworks and people sitting out of doors in the rain.

I had to go through a police line to get into the plaza, they were searching bags, etc. Then I started walking and and before too long I was jam packed into a huge crowd of people that could not move forward. I felt a little uncomfortable, but also realized I was not going to get across that Plaza, even though a nice Spanish lad said just get behind us strong boys and you'll be ok. I finally decided to turn around and find another way home.

Then I spent a half hour or so playing Dora Explorer sin mochilla trying to find a way home around all of the roped off and barricaded streets. I had already heard that the plaza is crazy jam packed for this show and that you have to be there way early because at some point the Police, when they feel there are enough people inside, close off entry to prevent it becoming dangerous. Then if you go out to pee, or for any other reason, you can't get back in. I decided this did not sound like my idea of a good time, maybe sometime more than twenty nine years ago, but not today. I was thinking of going up to the park to watch because it has a pretty good view of the Cathedral. What do you want to bet I wasn't the only person in Santiago that thought of this. Anyway by the time I got off work, I just wanted to go home and get comfy.

And so I did. I heated up my left over pimientos de padron, cut up some queso, tore off a piece of bread, grabbed the olives a peach and a yogurt, and sat down for supper. I turned on the TV to see if they were going to broadcast the festivities on the Santiago station. That's when I heard about the train wreck. Then while I was reading Facebook, one of my friends, who was in the plaza, posted that they had cancelled the event because of the train wreck.

I wasn't planning to see it. I didn't get to see some of the things I did want to see yesterday and today, because it was to busy at work to get out. One of the things I wanted to see yesterday was the Narigudos, which I think is a Sesame Street type puppet show. And today I wanted to see the Xigantes which are people with big heads and upper bodies made of paper and glue (like we used to do with balloons) and painted bright colors. They dance around and do funny stuff. Kids live it an so, of course, it appeals to me. But, what I like about Santiago is the general feeling of excitement, of being in a very old city full of music. The main events aren't what sold me on this place. It is the enthusiasm and emotion of the Pilgrims, and how nice they are even after walking a very long way and then standing in line for hours. It's the children. You see more children up close here because they walk a lot. They are not always encased in automobiles going from one organized activity to another.

I have seen some of the most adorable children coming to get their Compestelas. The youngest was four and she had done her Camino on a bicicleta. We had there young people come up the stairs with Mario, one of the Voluntarios, they had a flight in two hours and had been waiting in line. We got them their Compostelas and off they went. We had three other young people, probably fifteen years old, who had lost their group and wanted to get their Compostelas so they could go find their group. They asked the people in the front if they could go ahead of them. In neither instance did the people in the front of the line balk or complain. I was wasn't amazed, but I did make a mental note.

I awoke late this morning and it was raining. Somehow it seems fitting. There are 77 dead and 143 injured. I was on this train arriving from Madrid at 20:45 ten days ago. It will take me some time to process my feelings about this, sadness, grief, relief, wondering, etc.

Day 8 - Shopping July 23

I don't usually shop when I travel, especially not for trinkets and mass produced kitch. However, when I run across some unique items that are hand crafted I sometimes make an exception. Last year when my daughter and I were in Istanbul, they had constructed an Artisan's Village in one of the plazas by the Blue Mosque. My daughter and I bought several lovely items that we saw made before our very eyes. I also drank some brine by mistake, but we'll leave that story for another day. My daughter tells it much better than I and always has everyone rolling with laughter, including me. When I tell it I'm trying to explain why I did such a stupid thing. :)

A couple of times that I've been in Southern Spain on the Costa del Sol I've come by guys or gals sitting on the the boardwalk or sea wall weaving bracelets and I have bought several over time.

Today was another such shopping exception. in one of the plazas by the Cathedral they were having a II CERTAME FOLC. Which was a hand made craft fair with games and crafts for the kids. There was a woman spinning yarn to make kitted goods, handmade tambourines, lots of jewelry, leather boots and all manner of charming items. I bought a handmade leather wallet with room for my cell phone and money. I needed to replace the one I bought at Target a couple of years ago which is falling apart. And I bought a wonderful bracelet made of leather and metal with a flèche amarillo.

After that fun adventure, I bought a yogurt, went to the park, sat on a bench and savored it. I found a yogurt place here that has the yummiest yogurt. It tastes like the frozen Greek yogurt I had in Boulder once and haven't tasted anything like it since. After this I went to work and had more fun and excitement. I met a woman who lives in Irvine, a stone's throw from me and her mother lives in my community, by the creek where I live in a unit like mine which means she is within shouting distance, what a trip. I met another American from the Bay Area. There were three separate groups of Spanish Scouts, from different provinces. It must have been Scout week. One group was even coed.

Like everyday, I saw people shedding tears of joy, kissing their mate, hugging their friend and walking companion, just flat overwhelmed at receiving the Compostela and probably happy they made it. I saw one woman with one foot twice the size foot
Of the other foot, bravely limp to the counter to receive her Compostela. I offered an arm, but she proudly declined. I suggested she might need a hospital and she said she was going to one after she received her Compostela. I saw one of the employees take time out to go downstairs because there was a 74 year old woman with blisters so bad she could not make it up the stairs. It is very moving to be witness to so many people's kindness and special moments

I worked from 2 to 8 then went and had some caldo gallego and pimientos de padron. Oh so yummy. Then on my way home I stopped by the plaza where they had they craft fair and listened to La Voz de Galicia, which was various traditional Galician groups. Additionally, I saw and heard a guy playing a harp today. And a small marching band. There is music everywhere in Santiago this week. I don't think I've been on a street where there is not at least one street musician, usually two or three. It is a trip, the streets are alive with the sound of music.

So now it's time to hit the sac. I have to be to work at nine, so I need my anti cranky sleep.

Day 6 Visitors July 22

Day 6 - Visitors July 21

What a treat it was to have visitors today. Cheryl and Marty who I met through American Pilgrims came into town yesterday fresh off the Camino Primitivo. They came by the flat about 11 this morning. Cheryl wanted to see the flat because she will be staying here this October. I showed them the flat and we sat around and talked for awhile. Around noon we wandered off to find a place for lunch. This is a little challenging in Spain on Sunday, first because not much is open in Spain on Sunday and at noon, it is still breakfast time. What we call the midday meal, lunch is for the Spanish dinner and it starts around 1:00 or 1:30. But we found a lovely little place on a small plaza and ate alfresco. It was ensalda mixta all around. We continued our lovely chat until it was time for me to go to work. First we returned to the flat to get my phone which I had forgotten to take, because I was so immersed in our conversation.

Work was fun. I met lots of new people. I gave out lots of hugs to people Whose names I don't know, but I do know them because we are both Pilgrims. I ended up working until 9 pm, an extra two hours because I was having so much fun. I am getting to know the staff better. They are really amazing. Most of them speak several languages. A couple of them have undertaken the task of improving my Spanish. It is great. One of them told me I was doing a great job keeping the lines organized. Another tok pictures of both my tattoos, my dragon and my Camino tattoo.

Many of the pilgrims coming through the line notice my tattoo and ask for a closer look. It's really a conversation starter. Three American girls asked for directions to the tattoo shop. lol

I received a copy of the schedule for the next week. Stephen was nice enough to get one for each of us. I didn't even know there was on, so I would have been clueless. There is music, dance, large puppets, theatre and pageantry all day and night all week.
Actually it is more than a week. It starts today and goes until a week from Wednesday. The music runs the gamut from symphony to rock. It's going to be a fun time.

By the time I got out of the Pilgrims office, I was dead tired. But I did noticed some lovely sights I get to see every day as I walk to and from work.

Day 5 - Visitors July 21

Day 6 - Visitors July 21

What a treat it was to have visitors today. Cheryl and Marty who I met through American Pilgrims came into town yesterday fresh off the Camino Primitivo. They came by the flat about 11 this morning. Cheryl wanted to see the flat because she will be staying here this October. I showed them the flat and we sat around and talked for awhile. Around noon we wandered off to find a place for lunch. This is a little challenging in Spain on Sunday, first because not much is open in Spain on Sunday and at noon, it is still breakfast time. What we call the midday meal, lunch is for the Spanish dinner and it starts around 1:00 or 1:30. But we found a lovely little place on a small plaza and ate alfresco. It was ensalda mixta all around. We continued our lovely chat until it was time for me to go to work. First we returned to the flat to get my phone which I had forgotten to take, because I was so immersed in our conversation.

Work was fun. I met lots of new people. I gave out lots of hugs to people Whose names I don't know, but I do know them because we are both Pilgrims. I ended up working until 9 pm, an extra two hours because I was having so much fun. I am getting to know the staff better. They are really amazing. Most of them speak several languages. A couple of them have undertaken the task of improving my Spanish. It is great. One of them told me I was doing a great job keeping the lines organized. Another tok pictures of both my tattoos, my dragon and my Camino tattoo.

Many of the pilgrims coming through the line notice my tattoo and ask for a closer look. It's really a conversation starter. Three American girls asked for directions to the tattoo shop. lol

I received a copy of the schedule for the next week. Stephen was nice enough to get one for each of us. I didn't even know there was on, so I would have been clueless. There is music, dance, large puppets, theatre and pageantry all day and night all week.
Actually it is more than a week. It starts today and goes until a week from Wednesday. The music runs the gamut from symphony to rock. It's going to be a fun time.

By the time I got out of the Pilgrims office, I was dead tired. But I did noticed some lovely sights I get to see every day as I walk to and from work.

Day 4 - Photo Opps July 20

My new tattoo was quite a hit today. The two ladies from Ireland that volunteer was me gasped and covered their eyes with both hands. They were aghast. It's kind of nice to know I can still shock some people at my age. In the Pilgrim's office there are, besides the volunteers, paid employees or interns who write the Compostelas. One of these ladies asked me when I would be there tomorrow because she wants to bring her camera and take a picture of my tattoo. Another of the employees want to take a picture of me to show his grandmother. He, and the others, can't believe I am almost 67 years old. lol when I leave the office after five hours of work I feel like I'm almost ninety seven.

The "children" as Johnnie named them, because they are just out of high school or first year of college, are adorable and they really liked the tattoo. When I saw them yesterday it was covered, so they came into day asking to see it right away. I actually relate to them better than the two older ladies I'm working with. Maybe it's because I'm still juvenile. :) Several of the pilgrims also commented on the tattoo.

It was wild in the office today. It was rather slow in the morning and then bam we were slammed. The line went down the stairs, through the patio, out the entry and down the block to the corner. It was crazy. The pilgrims are always so excited and so tired from the journey. I'm sure standing in line is just torture. There is a door way where pilgrims are admitted one by one from the line to get their Compostelas. There are usually five to nine people writing Compostelas, which entails them checking the credential to determine if the person has walked the requisite miles, fill out forms about where they are from, where they started the Camino, how old they are, if they did the Camino on foot, bicycle, or horseback, and whether they did the Camino for religious or spiritual reasons. The last one is tricky. If they say no, they did it for personal, athletic or other reasons, they don't get a Compostela, they get a Certificate.

After they get their Compostela or Certificate, they exit through the same door they were admitted to get their Compostelas or Certificates. Meanwhile, others are being called in to get their Compostelas or Certificates, all through the same door. Remember most of these people have with them the large backpacks, walking sticks, etc they used on the Camino, going both ways throughout the door. Very difficult to choreograph. Additionally, as they exit there is a little counter where they can buy a tube to protect their Compostela or Certificate from getting bent or crumpled on their journey home. Now this counter is about four feet from the doorway where people are entering and exiting. Today there were a few times, when the line to get out with backpacks was so long it went through the door so nobody could move through it to get their Compostelas or Certificates. Five employees were sitting with no one to service. It took a minute or two each time to clear it out enough to keep the traffic flowing.

Mind you, I'm trying to get people to move and do things in Spanish and English, which probably works for most of them, except those that only speak French, Italian, German, or Asian languages. I must say I've pretty much gotten over my reluctant embarrassment to speak Spanish, I'm just rattling off stuff. It's one of the benefits of being too busy to think about it. For the most part the Pilgrims are understanding and kind. Occasionally there is a cranky one, but it is understandable, given the long way they've come and how emotional this moment is to them, and there is some crazy American with purple hair asking them to move here or there, or to "squishy up." I'm still trying to figure out how to say "squishy up" in Spanish. lol

After work today I took a moment in this lovey little park with flowers, hedges, benches for sitting and tables for eating. I just love this about Spain. In the middle of the cities there are always large and small parks. Tomorrow I get to have lunch with one of my friends from the states. She was one of the trainers and the one that made it possible to have this dream experience in Santiago. I work the afternoon shift for the next three days from 2pm to 7pm, and tomorrow night Johnnie is playing the organ and Stephen is singing in the Cathedral!! I haven't heard Johnnie play but I assume he is great. Stephen sang for us the other night at dinner and he has an amazing voice.

Sleep tight my friends.

Day 3-Whoa Nelly July 19

OK boys and girls it's time for another episode of Nancy's Spanish Adventures. Today has been less eventful than past days but interesting nonetheless, but you be the judge. I love cornflakes in Spain. I have no idea why this happens, but in 2012 when I was living with a Spanish family in Salamanca I ate cornflakes with milk and sugar every day for breakfast and loved it. In that household yogurt was something you ate for desert in the evening. She had other stuff for breakfast, but I loved me some cornflakes.

I never eat cornflakes in the United States. If I occasionally eat cold cereal at a motel buffet breakfast, it is raisin bran. It is not like corn flakes are somehow different in Spain, which is the case with olives, but don't get me started on olives. The corn flakes here say Kellogg's Original on the box. The only difference from the boxes in the United States is that all the information is in Spanish. They contain Vitamina D, not Vitamin D. I don't really believe they contain much of anything useful in either language, but I love them in Spain.

So you can imagine my surprise and delight when Stephen showed me the flat last evening and there on the kitchen counter was a big full box of corn flakes and a partially empty box as well. I squealed with pleasure, causing Stephen to look at me a little alarmed. lol I think he thought I was having a seizure or had turned out to be slightly deranged. lol I didn't tell him about the brain tumor.

After he left I checked the frig, and there was milk (leche) I checked the cupboard and there was sugar (azucar.) I was in heaven. I was too tired to go out for a bite last night, so I had corn flakes for dinner, three bowls full.

This morning I went down to the corner cafe and had café con leche, in which the proprietor drew a fern design with the steamed milk. Some of my friends of unclean mind saw something else, but we won't go there. Shame on you! hehehe I also had a fresh warm croissant with butter (mantiquilla) and jam (mermelada.) Oh my God, so yummy.

So much for my gastric adventures. Hi ho, hi ho it's off to work I go, or went. It is crazy busy in the Pilgrim's Office. Summer is the busiest time of the year and the 25th being the Feast of Saint James (Santiago,) it's even busier. There is almost always a long line coming up the stairs speaking a variety of languages, tired from the Camino, excited to have finished and and earned their Compostela, emotional in all sorts of ways, and even sometimes a little cranky.

I have to try to explain in at least English and Spanish, as best I can, in a friendly way, that everyone should please have their credential ready and in their own hand, because it makes things go faster. And sometimes the line creeps forward and I have to ask everyone to move back, again in Spanish and English, and explain this is necessary so that the people who have received their credential can get out the door and those who are waiting can get in.

There are anywhere from four to seven people writing Compostelas and my job has been, so far to get the people, one at a time, to the people available to write their Compostelas. This involves much running about to check if someone is available to write the Compostela, then back to get the pilgrim's attention, and guide them to the right space. Meanwhile problems arise. Some people are in families or have been walking together and want to go in to get their Compostelas together. This is understandable, but very difficult because the space is small and the backpacks (mochillas) are big. But sometimes they insist and just go on through. Most folks are nice about it. Sometimes, it is a parent and a child and they need to go together. It is a special time for all of the pilgrims and I need to try very hard not to detract from it. 

Meanwhile the paid employees get irritated if a person is not sent to them right away. So I have to scurry. The pilgrims are often fumbling with their heavy packs and walking sticks, and are slow moving. Again understandable. At a minimum these folks have just waled sixty miles, usually more than that. Today someone had walked from Le Puy in France which is a little over one thousand miles. 

I was exhausted after an hour. I only worked four hours but it felt like six. When some other Amigos (volunteers like me) and they said I could go now, I thought I was getting fired, because I thought I was working six hours. I might be just a tad sensitive.

So after I was dismissed (lol) I went and bought a proper coffee maker, went to the tattoo shop and arranged to get a tattoo tomorrow at 17:00. We talked about what I want and he is going to draw up a sketch. He lived in New York for three years and that is where he learned to tattoo.

I came home took a short nap, dreamed I was fired from a job. I wonder where that came from? hehehe

Day 2: Back To Work

I stayed in the Albergue Fin del  Camino, about a twenty minute walk from central Santiago, and on the route of the Camino Frances as it comes into Santiago. Yesterday  as I was walking back to the Albergue I encountered a group of 30 or so young people, about 14 to 16 years of age. They were walking with their back packs, chatting with one another and just exuding an air of grand accomplishment and well being. They were on their way to get their Compostelas for having completed their  Camino. They were delightful and made my spirit smile. I shouted "Buen Camino, Peregrinos!" And they smiled, laughed and responded, "Gracias!" It was a brief momentary exchange, but the good feeling remains. 

Last night at the Albergue I chatted with my new friend Joy. She is from Canada, has done several Caminos, and has taught ESL in several South American countries. She's heading out to do the Camino Primitivo, but will return for a few days for the Feast of Saint James festivities.  So we will meet again. 

Today I did my induction/training at the Pilgrims center where I am volunteering for two weeks. It was great fun. Johnny Walker, what a name, (huh?) who is in charge of the  volunteer program at the Pilgrim's office took us on a tour of the old town. Johnnie is a Scot who lived in London for awhile, plays the organ at the Cathedral and has lived in Spain for the last three years. He is delightful. 

The tour included a market with fresh everything. Imagine, if you will , a permanent farmer's market on steroids. There's also a restaurant that will cook any fish you buy at the market for 10% of the purchase price, cost 10€, cook for 1€. I can't wait to eat there. There was another restaurant that Johnnie said was run by two brothers. They go to the market each morning, see what is fresh, and then plan their menu for the day. I can tell I'm going to spend a lot of time at the market, if I can find it again. lol We went through the city so fast and the streets, like most old cities, run every which way. It is hard to know where you are, let alone find where you were.

We did pass the tattoo shop. I made a mental note of the street and found it on the map just now. So I will go there tomorrow to make arrangements for my "Camino Tattoo."

Training was fun. It is such a delight to see the joy on pilgrim's faces as they come to get their Compostelas and seeing in their eyes the sense of accomplishment that touches the soul. I even got to write a Compostela for someone!!! I was so nervous. I didn't want to give him a crummy Compostela. There was one woman who came for her Compostela. She was probably in her forties and was weeping the whole time. I talked with her a while and she told me she had just done the Camino with her mother and as they approached the entrance to old town at the Porto do Camino she had been overcome with emotion and gratitude. What a privilege to share that special moment with her. 

So Stephen, another volunteer who works with Johnnie getting us volunteer workers set up in flats (apartments on the other side of the pond) met me after my work day and showed me to my flat. I was amazed! I have a one bedroom flat that is extremely nice and very roomy. It even has a tv. The only thing it is lacking is a proper coffee pot, but I suppose that is not a necessity to The Brits. ;) I'll have to remedy that tomorrow.  Speaking of tomorrow, I need to be at work at 9am, so I had better get some sleep. I haven't had to be to work in more than ten years, it brings back memories.  

Day 1 Arrive In Santiago

HHave you ever left home for a trip and felt like you had forgotten something? Well I spent the last month gathering stuff together for my trip, arranging and rearranging, packing and unpacking, then returning my pack and going back to my old one. On Saturday I spent the day on my final packing. I had everything cinched up and ready to put in the car Sunday morning. I checked off my written list and mental list.

My last week at home I was trying to kick a really tenacious and nasty sinus infection (aka brain tumor,) so between the two kinds of antibiotics I was taking simultaneously and the decongestants, I was very spacey. So trying to get it, whatever "it" was, together, was difficult.

On Sunday I woke up at 4 am, even though I had set my alarm for 5 am. I had some time to write, reflect and get teary eyed, then it was time to go to the airport. As I walked out the door I had that feeling, I knew I was forgetting something, but what could it be? Last year I forgot one of the two bras I was going to take, but managed with only one. I checked my mental list again. No, it wasn't a bra. 

We got to the airport about 6:30 am, I spent time waiting for my plane in the luxury of the United Club, and my flight left at 8:30 or 9 am. The fight was a nightmare due to a woman with three undisciplined kids under the age of five who spent the entire trip throwing temper tantrums, screaming, kicking and hitting. I was in the seat next to this debacle, but everybody on the plane shared the misery. I am bruised on both sides. I didn't hit or kick back, swear, yell or tell her what I thought of her parenting skills, however, so, for that I am grateful. We got to New York about 4 pm EST and I spent the time until my flight for Madrid at 8 pm checking the Dodger game, drinking coffee and eating snacks in the United Club.

The flight to Madrid was like heaven in comparison to the first flight. I was in first class, had a yummy meal, and even got a little sleep. I arrived in Madrid 10:30 am (1:30 am PST,) collected my luggage, and took the Metro to the train station where I waited until 3 pm for my train to Santiago. I got a little bit of sleep in 15 minute snippets on the train. The kid in the seat in front of me was playing games on an iPad with the sound at high volume. His mother didn't seem to mind. We always make the kids turn it down or use ear phones. Whatever he was playing sounded like being in a Casino in Las Vegas. It's Very unnerving sound. I believe it is design to keep people in a heightened nervous state. The gal in the seat next to me had her phone turned to full volume also (is everyone in Spain hard of hearing?) So every time she got a text or a call the phone made a loud noise and startled me awake. She was really nice, just hard of hearing, I guess. lol

I arrived in Santiago at about 9 pm and Stephen, one of the volunteers, was there to meet me. We took a bus to the albergue and he introduced me to the other volunteers and showed me around. After he left I was trying to get organized to take a shower and get ready for bed when the lights went out. I forgot 10 pm is lights out in most albergues. I tried finding my head lamp and couldn't find it. I tried searching using my flashlight app on my phone but only succeeded in creating a huge pile that made it look like a bomb had exploded near my bed. I decided to just find my sleeping sac and sleep in what I was wearing. At this point, it's almost midnight Monday, Spain time (3 pm PST.) if you do the math I had been up thirty five hours with short bursts of sleep. Surrender seemed like a good idea.

It was at this point I realized what I had forgotten, my flip flops, the only other pair of shoes I pack. I take boots for hiking and flip flops for showers and walking about town. Yikes!!! All of the times I've been in Spain, I'd never had to look for flip flops. I didn't even know if you could buy them in Spain or what they would be called. Oh well. I was wondering if Saint Anthony answered prayers for forgotten items, as well as lost items.

I set my alarm for 7:30 am because the sign in the lobby said 9 am was leaving time. All albergues require you to exit at a certain time in the morning, usually 8 am, so they can clean. I woke up at 3 am, because my body thought it was operating on PST, and thought it was 6 pm. I worried a bit about the forgotten flip flops. I Eventually went back to sleep, after posting my safe arrival. My alarm went off at 7:30, I turned it off and thought, oh I can sleep another half hour. I awoke at 9:45 am realizing I was all alone, except for the cleaning people I could hear on the other side of the wall. Whoops! I scurried around, managed to get some clothes on me, and walked toward the old town area to get some café con leche and something to eat.

You will never guess what happened. As I was walking I saw a small clothing store with some shoes in the display window. I thought, "what the heck, it's right here and worth a try." They not only had cheap rubber flip flops, they had them in purple to match my hair!  The Camino is so amazing. And, they only cost 3.80€, about $5. The purple ones at Target were $10.

I was so delighted with my purchase I almost skipped into town. I sat in a little plaza and drank my café con leche and ate tostada con mantiqilla y mermalada. Yummy!

Leaving On A Jet Plane

My plane leaves in less than four hours. I am packed and ready to go. I woke up an hour before my alarm and I’m sitting here feeling feelings I don’t think I’ve ever felt before when leaving for an extended trip. I am sad, on the verge of tears. Normally, and I’ve done this enough to have a “normally,” I am jumping out of my skin with excitement. And it is not that I am not excited, I am. I’m feeling a lot of things. Many years ago some people told me that I was going to “get in touch with my feelings.” They acted like they thought they were delivering good news. I looked at them astonished, didn’t they know, couldn’t they tell, I had spent more than thirty years trying not to feel my feelings, not to be in touch with my feelings. 

It wasn’t safe to have feelings when I was young, at least it didn’t feel safe to me. Other kids laughed at you and adults acted like you were somehow misbehaving. So I learned to be stoic, to not let them know they had hurt me. I also discovered that anger keeps people away. And if people don’t get close to you, they can’t hurt you.

Well today, I’m sitting here feeling my feelings, in touch with my feelings. I have people so close to me, it is like they are under my skin or part of me. I really don’t mind. I remember Khalil Gibran saying something about you can’t laugh all of you laughter until you’ve cried all of your tears. I believe today that squishing part of my feelings stifles other feelings. I’m glad they didn’t all atrophy under my choke hold.

So it is time to get dressed and get ready to go. I am ready for a grand adventure, feelings and all.

3 Days To Go

I am leaving on July 14th. It is getting closer every day. Right now I am battling a nasty sinus infection as a result of my procrastination. I knew I had it, just didn’t want to take the time to go see a doctor. Then I was explaining to my friend one day that I was sure I had a brain tumor, but I didn’t want to go to the doctor, because they would make me cancel my trip. She inquired about my symptoms. I told her I was having head aches and my teeth hurt. She looked at me like I was a dunce or a looney tunes. We both suffer from sinus infections and both know the symptoms. She asked me politely, as though she was dealing with a possibly dangerous mentally disturbed person, “Do you think it might be a sinus infection?” Well, no, of course not, that would not be nearly dramatic enough. Sometimes I crack myself up. 

I have been healthy for ages, without a sign of a sniffle. It’s just a little disconcerting to get sick right before getting on an airplane and leaving the country. I am taking antibiotics so hopefully I will get well, but also so that by the time I travel I won’t be infecting anyone on the plane.

I also think I am having a little separation anxiety. I was driving the other evening and thought, I feel like I’m not coming home from this Camino. Now the only way I can imagine that I would not come home was if I died, or got kidnapped by a band of gypsies and taken to exotic places. Hmmm, that one doesn’t sound so bad. Anyway, back from my musings, I haven’t been excited like I have in the past when I was leaving for long visits to Spain and other places. Usually I’m like a kid going to Disneyland, just jumping out of my skin with excitement. And I haven’t experience that yet.

I thought maybe I’ve been spending too much time reading a Facebook page of people who have done the Camino answering questions and telling stories to people who haven’t done the Camino. there’s a lot of useful information, but also a lot of fear mongering about bed bugs, blisters, snoring, bag rattling waking you up too early, wild dogs, theft, etc. I’ve done the Camino and had little or no problem with any of that. Did lose my headlamp at one point, and I believe it was stolen, but it wasn’t a big deal. I lost more things than that myself. The only dogs I saw were chained, fenced in, asleep or so small their jaws wouldn’t have fit around my big toe. I never heard anyone snore. I heard bags rattling in the morning, but it was usually 5 am, so I just got up. I’m an early riser anyway. I saw two bed bugs on a walls, but never had a personal encounter or served as their meal. But I found myself worrying about all these things and thinking maybe I was just lucky the first time and all these things will happen to me.

But I don’t think it is any of those things. I think I am going to miss my friends and family and my home more than I ever had before. And actually, this is a good thing. I am more attached here than I have ever been. I feel that I love and am loved here more than I have ever felt it before. And I’m able to accept love without argument for the first time I can remember. I believe that this is, at least in part, a result or part of what happened to me as a result of walking the Camino last year. So it will be sad leaving, but I also believe the Camino has contributed to many of the changes I am experiencing and I look forward to getting into it at a deeper level. Besides which it will be a grand adventure! I am starting to get excited.

4 Days to Go

God willing, at this time next week I will be Santiago de Compostela starting my three month adventure with the Camino. I will be in Santiago until August 2, volunteering in the Pilgrims Office welcoming the Pilgrims as they come to get their Compostela (a certificate verifying they have completed the Camino.) I will be part of the Amigo Program, living and working in Santiago for two weeks. This two weeks just happens to encompass the the Feast Day (July 25th) of Saint James (Santiago) which means there is a large celebration in Santiago for days of music and festivities. I’ve long wished I could be there during this time, so it should be exciting. And the Pilgrim’s Office should be very busy, because a lot of pilgrims want to arrive at this time.

The Pyrenees

After my time in Santiago I will travel by train to Saint Jean Pied de Port in France to start the Camino over the Pyrenees on August 4th. I will hike for 27 days, taking it slowly, seeing things I missed last year because I was in some sort of self imposed hurry, and spending a couple of days in Burgos and Leon and maybe someplace else. Then I will go to El Burgo Ranero and volunteer as a Hospitalera for two weeks from September 1 to 15 at Domenico Laffi. A hospitalera is like a hostess at the albergue, greeting people, making sure they are comfortable and trying to help with their needs. I think it is like the way you would treat a guest staying in your home.  

After my time at El Burgo Ranero I will return to Leon and finish the hike to Santiago. Then if there time I plan to hike to Finisterre on the coast of Spain, once thought to be the end of the earth, before Galileo; and then up the coast to Muxia and hopefully spend a few days at a place called the Little Fox House to rest, process and explore the Galician (northwestern Spanish coast.) This coast is gorgeously rugged, like the northern California and Oregon coasts. If I have time after all this I might go to Porto, Portugal to do a little R&R, but eventually I will end up in Madrid on October 15th and fly home.

Cathedral in Santiago de Compostela

So up to this point I have laid out my plans. We will see what God’s plan is as the days unfold. Last year I didn’t know if I would get to do any of the Camino, because of a pre Camino injury. I had to learn once again to turn over my will and life to a power greater than my self. The learning began with a song by Leonard Cohen, “If It Be Your Will.” Apparently it was God’s will that I finish the Camino in Santiago last year, but not without a few days of pain in my knee that I thought would send me home and five days rest in a hostel watching the Olympics. If the word God unsettles you, I just mean a power greater than myself, it doesn’t include any rules and regulations, it’s just a way of living.

This year, hopefully I will go knowing my plan is only preliminary. If you want to get an idea of the feeling and vision of the Camino watch this you tube video. It is about 16 minutes but well worth it. This is the best presentation I have seen, This is  better than the documentaries showing in the theaters.  http://youtu.be/6rOmyhS4gvg

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July 4, 2013

Twenty nine years ago today I began a spiritual journey. My guides told me I was going to have to change everything, if I was going to be successful on this journey. I thought they were exaggerating. Twenty nine years later I know they were correct. I am not the same person today that I was twenty nine years ago. 

Twenty nine years ago I woke up every morning disappointed that I was still alive. Today I like me, the person I became by following a simple path or way. Today I love my life. I am so grateful for the people who walked this path before me and showed me the way. I wasn’t always sure their directions would get me where I wanted to go, but I realized after a while that I didn’t know the best destination for me. They knew a better way.

Today I have a life beyond my wildest dreams. I used to feel alone in a crowd and now I don’t feel lonely even when I’m alone. In nine days I get to go to Spain and walk for 500 to 600 miles from France to the northern coast of Spain. This pilgrimage is called the Camino Santiago or the Way. For me it is just a part of the bigger, or longer Way, which is my life.

I thank God as I understand God, and those who came before me and served as guides on this path.

13 Days To Go

Well, it’s been a while since I wrote, like 8 days. I’ve been busy with grandkids and training. Haven’t felt very reflective. I had a new pack and was training with it. I really liked it’s color (it was raspberry pink) and that it was smaller than the one I used last year. However, problems arose in training. First, my lower back started to hurt. Now my back has been a long time issue, even had surgery a few years ago, but since the surgery it has been pretty benign. 

New Pack

Last year I noticed that I never had any issues with my back on the Camino, only my knee. It occurred to me that maybe the pack acted like a brace, keeping my back straight and encouraging good posture. I threw the thought out there in a group of other pilgrims and a couple of people responded that they had had the same experience and also wondered if the pack actually helped. 

Well my new pack is certainly not helping, it is actually causing a problem. then yesterday it rubbed sores on my shoulders. “Enough!” I said, this pack is going back to REI. REI is great that way. You can buy something, road test it for as long as you like and return it. They have a parking lot sale a couple of times a year and sell all the returned stuff. I think it is a great business plan. I shop there a lot, and know other people who do as well, because of their liberal return policy.

Old Pack

I am going to take my old pack on a couple of training hikes, to make sure I am not just romanticizing how great it was last year. Weight wise the packs are about the same, but the old one holds more. I don’t need the space, but empty space doesn’t really weigh anything. As long as I resist the urge to fill it up, I will be fine. Mr Burple fits better in my old pack too. If the old pack gives me problems I may go into panic mode, since by then it will only be about a week until I leave. But, I am not going to worry about going into panic mode, I am not going to worry about going into panic mode, I am not . . .