When I first got home from the Camino I was delighted to be home where everything was familiar, sharing with my family, laughing with my hubby, visiting with friends and walking the beach. During the first few weeks I thought the Camino was nice to do, but now I've done it. I wouldn't be doing it again. I packed it away in it's little box. I didn't feel there was any need to do it again. Then my experience on the Camino began to settle in on me. I noticed I didn't want to do things I had loved doing before I went on the Camino. I discovered there were new things I wanted to do or felt drawn to do, like walking on the beach taking pictures with my hubby, with my friends or by myself. I have been a ceramic artist for about fifteen years and could never get enough time in the studio. Now I didn't want to go to the studio and when I went didn't want to be there. I started thinking there was something wrong with me. Then I started noticing other changes in me and the way I reacted to the world and the people in it. I was less concerned with all of the details and worries that had consumed most of my life. I became more interested in what was happening in front of me, in the moment. I became more focused on the experience of living. I began to really enjoy time with friends and family, instead of treating these visits like an appointment, as something to checkoff my to do list.
I decided not to worry. If I wanted to walk on the beach and take pictures, then that is what I would do. After all the studio is not a job. I don't have to go. While walking with friends I would try to describe how I was feeling. I felt there was a profound change going on in me, but I couldn't really put it into words. What I have described above is the closest I've come. Still I wondered if maybe there was something wrong with me. I wondered if others had had this post Camino experience. During this time I made plans to do the Camino again next year, in 2014. And my friend Kathy wanted to go with me.
Last week I went to Santa Barbara to attend the Annual Gathering Of The American Pilgrims On the Camino (APOC.) APOC is one of many organizations that supports the Camino and helps keep it open for future pilgrims (people who walk the Camino) The first three days I attended a training session to be a Hospitalero. Hospitaleros volunteer for some period of time, usually two weeks, to work in an Albergue (sometimes called hostels, these are the places with the bunk beds where pigrims find a home for the night.) The gathering was held at the Santa Barbara Mission Retreat Center, so there were basic rooms with two twin beds and meals served three times a day in a large dining room.
In the Hospitalero class there were five trainers and twenty three or four trainees. We learned and shared experiences we have had on the Camino, both in the class and at meals. After a few days I felt I had known these people all my life. We formed our own little Camino Family (walkers on the Camino who form a group that walks together, meets up at the end of the day and/or shares meals together.) On Wednesday evening we even made a communal pilgrim dinner at the home of two of our trainers. This is a common activity in the albergues. We welcomed the pilgrims who had walked to the Gathering following the route of the California Missions. It was a fun and lively evening. When the rest of the people showed up for the Gathering we were comfortable in our little Camino Family and continued sharing with one another over meals, on walks or just hanging out, as we met new friends.
There have been times over the past six months when I have missed the Camino so much I felt like crying. I missed the special bond that is shared by pilgrims and the simplicity of the Camino. During the gathering I got excited and my mind kept trying to figure out how I could fit a Camino into my life this summer. There were many discussions and presentations. I found myself attending one about the birds you might see on the Camino. I've never been interested in birds and certainly never would have considered myself a bird watcher or someone who would attend a presentation about sighting birds. This is a direct result of walking the beach in the last six months. During my walks I started noticing the pelicans. I wondered, where did these come from, have they always been here? Amazing! My eyes had opened to the world around me. One of the profound changes. After noticing the pelican, I started seeing cormorants, osprey, snow plows, and other coastal birds.
On Sunday morning they had a presentation on the "post Camino" experience. I was not alone! Other people had experienced the same or similar feelings upon completing the Camino and returning home.
One of the presenters summed it up this way, "We walk the Camino, and then the Camino walks us." I had tried to put my Camino and my spiritual experience in a box, believing whatever was going to happen was going to happen on the Camino. It never occurred to me that it would continue revealing itself after I got home. I was overjoyed. Again wondering how I could manage to go this year.
On my long drive home in Sunday traffic I had a talk with myself, and maybe God. It boiled down to telling myself that I live here, not in Spain. I live in one of the most beautiful areas in the world with beaches, mountains and hiking and walking trails galore. And this area has good weather. I told myself I didn't have to go to Spain to have a spiritual experience, I could have one right here, So I said to myself, if God wants me to go this year, he will let me know. And that was that, or so I thought.
The following Wednesday I was having breakfast with my friend when my phone lit up with a phone message from Minnesota. I thought what the heck, who do I know in Minnesota. When I got home I listened to the message which was from one of the trainers. She told me that a spot had just opened up in the Amigos program in Santiago. The Amigos program is a new program sponsored by APOC and organizations in England and Ireland to provide volunteers to welcome pilgrims when they get to Santiago and go to the pilgrim office to get there certificate. Often there are long lines and the greeters provide information to make this less tedious and more welcoming. The organizations provide you with a shared apartment and you work six hours a day for two weeks greeting people. She also noted in her message that this spot was the last two weeks of July, which included the Feast Day of St James (Santiago) and that I should let her know right away if I wanted to go. This is an amazing time to be in Santiago. I always thought that it would be great to finish the Camino in Santiago during the Feast Day celebration, but it is hard to know exactly when you are going to arrive in Santiago when on the Camino and accommodations are booked far in advance. So I believe God was yelling in my ear, "GO!" How could I not go? I talked it over with my hubby and asked if he would mind. He asked, "Why should I mind?" I have the best husband in the world!
I called the trainer back and asked her to send me the application. She emailed it and within hours I had emailed the completed application to John in Santiago. A while later my friend Kathy showed up at my front door to go on a beach walk. As we left my husband asked if I had heard whether I got the spot and I told him it would probably take a couple of days what with the time difference and normal review stuff. That afternoon while walking with Kathy on the beach and talking about all this I looked at my phone to check the time and there was an email from John in Santiago telling me I got the spot. Kathy and I hooped and hollered, jumped up and down, danced around and hugged each other proclaiming that we had an awesome God. I imagine this was peculiarly entertaining for the other people on the beach.
When I got home I filled out another application to also be a Hospitalero while I'm there and emailed it to another person in Spain. I haven't heard yet when and where I will be a Hospitalero, if I get a posting, but I know God will put me exactly where I am supposed to be. In addition to my experience as an Amigo and hopefully as a Hospitalero, I am also going to walk the Camino, if it be His will from St Jean in France to Finisterre on the west coast of Spain. Finisterre was thought to be the end of the world before Galileo and other cross Atlantic explorers. I am over the moon overjoyed!
And I bought a light weight monocular so I can see the birds better on the Camino. Buen Camino!
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